What a Drag!
by Reiven
Summary: Slash. We follow Kirihara as he escapades through town as Kirika Ayako, his punishment for losing to Fuji. Involves Kirihara in drag and Masta’ Pimp Atobe.
1. Staring: Kirihara, Sanada and Yanagizawa

**Disclaimer**: As Usual™

**Summary**: We follow Kirihara as he escapades through town as Kirika Ayako, his punishment for losing to Fuji. Involves Crack pairs, Kirihara in drag and Masta' Pimp Atobe (Part 1: In which Sanada is Satan, Kirihara is Queen and Eiji is disliked by many)

Let's just pretend that Tezuka's returned from Germany earlier in the series, ne?

**What a Drag!  
****Part One: In which Sanada is Satan, Kirihara is Queen and Eiji is disliked by many.**

* * *

"Demo, Sanada-fukubuchou," Kirihara looked up to the towering man with wide eyes.

"Silence, Akaya," Sanada's eyes flashed as he surveyed the cowering second year before him, "a loss is a loss."

"You lost too!" Kirihara dared to voice up, "to that first year Seigaku brat, no less."

Twitch.

"How dare you talk back to me, Akaya? I am your superior," he roared, causing Kirihara to momentarily stumble over a stray tennis ball that the first years had forgotten and fell backwards on his behind, "Now … you will be punished for that embarrassing display of a match."

"What about Yanagi-sempai? He lost too! Come to think of it," Kirihara trailed off, "We're supposedly the best players in Rikkai Dai, and yet, we all lost. Marui, Jackal, Niou and Yagyuu won their matches, but they didn't receive invitations to the Selective Trials."

"Stop changing the subject, Akaya - "

"Demo, Sanada-fukubuchou," Kirihara whined, "What will Yukimura-buchou say? He's always liked me, you know."

"He isn't here, is he?"

"N-No … " Kirihara inched his way backwards, eager to get away from whatever evil plan Sanada had thought up judging by the evil glint in his eye. His eyes became wide and tears started to cloud his vision, until Sanada pulled out something from a secret compartment in his pocket, "_NO!_"

ooo

Lightning flashed and thunder clapped in the background, a sure sign of an upcoming storm. The black cloud seemed to be migrating closer and closer to one location, it was as if signalling a bad omen for the boys of Seigaku tennis club.

"Something bad is going to happen today," Fuji looked up to the sky, his eyes in slits.

"Uwah, really?" Eiji bounced over to the ever-smiling boy and draped himself over his shoulders, "Fuji is always so insightful, nya."

Twitch.

Both boys were oblivious to the murderous glare Tezuka was sending their way, and the telepathic message to Eiji saying, 'hands off _my_ Fuji'. Nor did they notice the odd glance Oishi seemed to be staring them, as if saying, 'Eiji's hands are for me, and only me.'

As the young boys of the tennis club found enjoyment in the mysteries of the weather, Mother Nature decided that it was enough and sent down rain, a lot of it.

"Twenty laps around the court."

"Tezuka!" The regulars and other ordinary members of the school shouted to their stoic Captain.

"I meant, into the building, minna."

Oddly enough, the sudden downpour of rain seemed to have only come down over the vicinity of the school.

ooo

Boys and men alike turned their heads around to catch a second glimpse of the person that had passed them. Girls looked on in jealousy and perverted old men started to wet their pants.

"Whaii! Pretty girl!"

"Oji-san!"

Kirihara sulked as he made his way down the street, '_my hosieries are bunching,_' he cursed and pulled the dammed elastic away from the skin of his crotch. '_Why do girls need all this stuff anyway, it's not like they're going to war,_' he raised an eyebrow at the evil looks he received from a bunch of cheerleaders that crossed his path, '_or not …_' he sighed and continued on his way.

From the tips of the leather, four-inch stilettos he wore, right to the tip of his shoulder length, straight black hair, Kirihara was all woman and he was dressed to kill. The skin-tight red mini-skirt clung to him like a second skin, and the black tank top (and padded wonder bra) only encouraged the illusion. His hips swayed from side to side as he flounced down the street, heading towards the designated destination as set by the devil himself, Sanada Genichiro:

Seishun Gakuen Junior High.

He shuddered involuntarily at the thought. '_Seducing the immature brat_?' he fumed, '_what is the fukubuchou thinking? At least seduce Tezuka, or even Fuji, at least they're something to look at. Even that bastard Dunk Smash guy is better than the cocky little monster. Hell, I'd even take that Snake man_,' images of him and Kaidoh frolicking though a field of purple flowers suddenly came to mind, '_maybe not._'

He sighed dejectedly as he passed by the ice-cream shop, not noticing a familiar person who had just walked out, '_If Niou-sempai could see me right now … I might as well kill myself and be done with it._'

"Hey there, pretty lady."

Kirihara froze in his tracks, the voice becoming knives and started stabbing him in the ear, '_M-masaka …_' he turned around robotically, and there, like and image out of a horror movie Niou standing near the entrance of the ice-cream parlour with a melting cone of vanilla making a trail down his arm, "H-Hai?" He stuttered, trying to sound as less Kirihara as he could and more like – his eyebrow twitched – Kirika Ayako, as Sanada had graciously dubbed him. He honestly didn't know how exactly Sanada had talked him into this and vowed to pay him back, someday.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing out here all by yourself?" his smile was almost smouldering and it took Kirihara's entire self-control to not throw up right then and there.

"I-I'm … err … going to meet my boyfriend," he gave the sweetest smile he could muster.

"I figured a girl like you would already been taken," Niou looked a little dejected, not noticing that Yagyuu was standing behind him.

"What about _your_ boyfriend?" '_Hah, take that, Niou!_' Kirihara smirked at the startled look on Niou's face.

"Niou-kun," Yagyuu raised a prominent eyebrow, "What are you doing?"

"Talking …"

"Don't you mean flirting?"

"Err …"

Kirihara snickered inwardly and walked off. Niou would have a major explaining to do, and at least that'll keep him of Kirihara's back for at least a few days.

ooo

The regulars of the Seigaku team sat in one of the classrooms at school. The rain had stopped coming but the sky was still black. The common members had already left for home, except for the three first years.

Inui would glance over at them once and awhile from his seat. He had always suspected that the three of them had some kind of a crush on Ryoma, it was all written down in his pretty green notebook, right next to the sentence where he officially declared Kaidoh Kaoru his property. The times when his attention wasn't focused of the three boys, he would look over towards Kaidoh, just to make sure that Eiji kept his mangy paws off of _his_ Kaidoh.

He also cast a glance at Kachiro. According to his calculations, there was a thirty seven percent chance that Kachiro was in love with Kaidoh. He would have to keep an eye on that boy. After all, no one eyes his Kaidoh other than him.

Fuji stared out the window, lost in the thought that were plaguing his mind. He didn't notice Tezuka's keen eyes on him, nor did he realize when the bespectacled Captain took to his feet and walked out. He just couldn't get the thought of a certain black haired devil child out of his mind.

'_Kirihara Akaya …_' his minds eyes looked over the image of the boy wistfully. He was such a cute boy, not the same cute as Yuuta, but still cute in his own, naughty way. Kirihara would look good sitting at his side in skintight clothes. With Saeki sitting on his other side, it would be quite a sight to behold.

Now there would just be the problem of seating Yuuta. With Saeki and Kirihara at either side, there would be no place for his dear otouto, and he wouldn't even dream of leaving him out, what if Mizuki got his filthy hands of _his_ Yuuta?

ooo

Tezuka shut the door behind him, leaning dejectedly against the wall and sighed. He was sexy, why won't Fuji even look at him? He had all the girls and boys of Tokyo swooning over him, so why couldn't he do even the simplest task of getting Fuji's attention? Perhaps Fuji was deliberately ignoring him, but why?

Tezuka was feeling very depressed at the moment and he needed some comfort. Reaching a hand into his pocket, he pulled out his cell phone and dialled Atobe's number. He needed the narcissistic boy to be his usual annoying self and distract him from his current heartache.

"Atobe," he muttered after a few seconds of hearing the ringing sound.

'Tezuka?'

Tezuka could almost hear the smugness in Atobe's voice at the prospect of him calling.

'Well, well. To what does Ore-sama owe the pleasure of receiving your rather unexpected phone call today? Are you leaving for Germany again? Or do you want Ore-sama to grace your pitiful teammates with my presence once more?'

"…"

'Tezuka? Are you still there, or has my indubitably imposing presence shocked you into silence?

"…"

'Tezuka,' Atobe clearly sounded annoyed, 'I command you to stop imagining Ore-sama naked and talk, now. You're making me waste precious exfoliating time.'

"Twenty laps around the court."

'Pardon? It sounds like you're trying to order Ore-sama around.'

Tezuka coughed, "I mean, you and me."

'Isn't it raining out?'

"Scared of a little rain, Atobe?"

Atobe spluttered through the receiver, 'Ore-sama is offended by that. You're on, Tezuka.'

"Hn," Tezuka hung up and leaned heavily against the wall, '_What have I gotten myself into?_'

For reason's unknown, the only two places currently experiencing rain were Seigaku and Hyoutei Gakuen. Perhaps it's the doing of the perverted goddess of Yaoi who loves young boys running around drenched, their clothes clinging tightly to their bodies. What ever it was, one may never find out.

ooo

In the sunny part of Tokyo, Kirihara continues on his long, long journey towards Seishun Gakuen Junior High … on the four-inch pumps (Sanada didn't allow him to take the bus in case he fell asleep and would end up in at the other side of town … again). It was one feat, which he seemed to be doing a good job off, considering that he's never cross-dressed before, or had he?

"Such a pretty girl, da ne!"

Kirihara's eyebrow twitched. He knew that he made a gorgeous girl, but it still felt a bit weird to her people say it aloud.

"Can I join you for a walk, da ne?"

Kirihara sighed and decided that he was stuck in this predicament, whether he liked it or not. Might as well take it all the way. Perhaps he'd think of a way to get back at Sanada in the meanwhile.

He twirled around, flicking his hair behind his shoulder and looked seductively at the person. He couldn't help a grimace from flickering across his face when he saw the owner of a voice, _'… he looks like a duck …_' Kirihara's eyebrow twitched again. He cleared his voice, "H-Hai, nii-san."

"Whaii, you're even sexier from the front, da ne. What's your name, da ne?"

Kirihara decided that he should get something for that twitch, "Kiriha –aaaa– Kirika," he coughed, "Kirika Ayako."

"Yanagisawa," he held out his hand, a smarmy look on his face, "Yanagisawa Shinya, da ne," he seemed to be waiting for Kirihara to accept his hand, but the boy tried to ignore it as best as he could.

"I really should be going," Kirihara backed away slowly. He was never one to back down from anyone, but once you put on a garter and a pair of fish net stockings, your manly quota pretty much dies down.

"Too bad, da ne. The pretty ones are always taken, da ne," he looked downtrodden, "Just like that pretty girl at the park with Momoshiro, da ne. She was a cutie, da ne," a black cloud hovered above his head.

Kirihara perked up at the mention of Momoshiro, "You know Momoshiro-kun?"

"- Seigaku always gets the best ones, da ne. Don't they know that not everyone on St. Rudolph is gay, da ne?"

"Hey, I asked you a question."

"- It's all Mizuki's fault, da ne. If he didn't always wear such bright clothes, maybe St. Rudolph –"

"Shut up!" Kirihara slapped him.

Yanagisawa looked up at him with wide, pathetic eyes, "Why did you do that, da ne?"

"You were saying Momoshiro and a girl?"

"Ah … it was after Seigaku's match with Hyoutei Gakuen, at the tennis park, da ne. Foudomine's Ibu and Kamio where there too. It was with Tachibana's sister, da ne."

"You know this because?" Could this be possible? Could this guy actually be – Kirihara's eye twitched – a tennis player?

"I was there with Mizuki and Yuuta, da ne."

"You actually play tennis?"

Yanagisawa nearly cried, "I'm from St. Rudolph! I played doubles with Kisarazu Atsushi!" he said almost desperately.

Kirihara's mouth formed and O in realization, "You're the guy who was knocked out by Momoshiro's Dunk Smash."

Yanagisawa dropped his head, "Why do I bother, da ne. I should go and nurse my bruised pride now, da ne. Ja, da ne."

Staring at his hunched and retreating shoulder, Kirihara sweat-dropped, '_And just when it was about to become interesting._'

* * *

**End Part One.**

This was supposed to be a one-shot, but it got a little too long. I have a tendency to babble on.

By the way, Kirihara's probably OOC, sorry :P

Review.


	2. Starring: Wakato, Atobe, Tezuka and Fuji

**Disclaimer**: As Usual™

Probably OOC-ness.

Thanks to my first reviewer; akeedacrest :D I shall now play _Scarlet_, the theme of Ayashi no Ceres, in your honor.

**What a Drag!****  
Part Two. In which Wakato is hit, Kirihara is hit on and Hiyoshi is exchanged for Tezuka.**

* * *

Kirihara was not happy. At all! His feet hurt, his crotch hurt, his hair was abnormally straight and that made him feel a bit giddy, not to mention the shoes put him at a height that was a bit nauseating. To top it all off, he had run into Niou, whom he hoped didn't recognize him, and some weirdo from St. Rudolph. What else could go wrong today?

"Hey there."

Murphy's Law volume one popped up out of nowhere and fell on top of him.

"Oji-san!"

Kirihara took a deep breath and turned around, only to come nose to nose with some old monk. There was a suspicious glint in his eye and Kirihara didn't even want to think about what was currently running though his head.

"Echizen Nanjiroh's the name, and girls are my game," he puffed out his chest, "and what's your name, pretty girl?"

'_Echizen?_' Kirihara's eyebrow's shot to his hairline. He composed himself and spoke in a low, seductive voice, "Echizen-kun … you wouldn't by any chance be related to an Echizen Ryoma would you?"

"The brat?" he scoffed, "ungrateful little bugger."

"Oji-san!" Nanako appeared in front of him and grabbed him by the sleeve, "leave the poor girl alone and let's finish the shopping," she turned to Kirihara, "Forgive my uncle, he has a disease," she shot a glare at Nanjiroh who was about to retort. He wisely kept his mouth shut, "Anyway … you know Ryoma-kun, Miss … err -"

"Kirika. And yes," Kirihara could barely hold back a smirk, "Ryoma-san … he had reserved me for three hours this afternoon. I'm quite excited, he's such a cutie-pie."

Nanjiroh and Nanako's jaws dropped open.

"R-Ryoma-kun?"

"Hired a prostitute!" Nanjiroh shouted.

"We prefer to call it … General Relations," Kirihara was positive that he would never, ever, hang around with Niou-sempai, again, ever! "Well, I still have one job to finish up, ja ne."

He walked away, leaving the gaping people staring at his back. Indeed, he was starting to get the hang of this 'being a girl' thing, and it scared him, because he found himself enjoying it a tad too much. He was also positive that he was going to kill himself after this, slowly, and make it seem like an accident.

--

Atobe and Tezuka stood silently in the middle of Seigaku tennis court. Atobe looked at Tezuka and Tezuka looked at Atobe, neither one saying a word nor even attempting to start a conversation.

The rain seemed to be coming down harder than ever, causing the boys to become even wetter than they were.

"I don't even see the point of taking a shower before I got here," Atobe broke the silence, "You better have a good explanation for this, Tezuka. If I wanted to stare at your impassive face all day, I would have just looked at a picture."

"Atobe," Tezuka walked towards Atobe, not daring to look the other boy in the face.

"Tezuka," Atobe raised an eyebrow.

Tezuka stopped one foot away from Atobe and turned his head up too look directly into his eyes, "Hold me."

Atobe's subconscious did flips and he circled his arms around Tezuka, pulling the brunette closer to his chest.

Tezuka just let himself relax into Atobe's embrace and put his own arms around Atobe's neck.

It was like things that only happened in his dreams; holding Tezuka this way while the both of them were soaking wet. Tezuka's chest rubbing up against Atobe made him feel a bit horny. After all, it was even worth stooping so low and making that anonymous call telling Fuji that Tezuka was straight.

--

"Fshuu …" Kaidoh was feeling a little self-conscious. Inui had been staring at him non-stop for the past ten minutes, it wouldn't have bothered Kaidoh as much if he hadn't seen that gleam reflecting in his sempai's glasses. It normally meant something bad was going to happen, and more often than not, the 'something bad' involved some newly concocted Inui Juice. Kaidoh didn't like Inui Juice.

One of the three ichi-nen was also staring at him, the one with the mushroom hair. Kaidoh couldn't, for the life of him, remember the boy's name. He'll just refer to him and ichi-nen one. There was something weird shining in his eye and that unnerved Kaidoh.

"Fshuu …" Kaidoh stood up abruptly and moved to the furthest seat in the room, preferable one that was out of the light. He needed some alone time. All the attention he was getting is uncomfortable. It was either that, or to go and join the idiot Momoshiro and his band of merry morons in the front of the room, except Ryoma, who was never merry.

Kaidoh kind of liked Ryoma, he reminded him of his brother. He stared at Ryoma's back for a long second, before sighing and going to the back of the room.

--

"Unyaa. Kaoru-chan's going to sit in the back all by himself," Eiji looked towards the boy in question.

"Baka mamushi," Momo scoffed, "just ignore him, he's just being his usual loner self."

"Demo, Momochin," Eiji whined, "he must be lonely, why don't you go comfort him?"

"He's right, Momo-sempai," Ryoma pulled his hat down over his eyes, but not before Momo saw the amused smirk on his face, "Kaidoh-sempai would love it."

Momo spluttered, "I'm not going there. I'm not going there ever!"

"Has anyone seen Tezuka?" They turned to the voice of Oishi, who was looking worriedly around the room, "I hope he didn't walk home. It's raining cats and dogs out there, he might catch a cold."

"Don't worry about Buchou, Oishi-sempai," Momo said, "He's probably immune to common sicknesses anyway."

"Demo …" Oishi still didn't look comforted, "Tezuka's still human, even though he might not seem like one sometimes –"

"G-Guys …"

No one seemed to hear Kawamura's voice.

"- a cold still isn't a pleasant experience, you know –"

"Guys …"

"C'mon, Oishi," Eiji put a hand around his shoulder, "Tezuka's super Buchou, nya."

Tired of being ignored, Kawamura grabbed a Random racket that had been placed on the desk, "**Hey, baby! Tezuka's making out with Atobe in the court! Burning!**"

There was silence in the room for a long minute, before tables and chairs were being cast aside as the regulars (and not) of Seigaku rushed to the window.

"Nyaa!" Eiji squealed, "Atobe and Tezuka!"

Ryoma's eyebrow twitched: the monkey-king … touching _his_ Buchou?

Momo's jaws dropped to the floor, "Buchou and … Atobe? Making out … in the rain … together!" he grasped and fist full of hair and wailed.

Kaidoh couldn't stop an involuntary twitch in his lip at the sight.

"Ii data," Inui muttered and scribbled furiously in his little green notebook. After which, he glanced over to Kaidoh and began to imagine a series of scenarios which had him and Kaidoh standing in the rain, in place of Atobe and Tezuka.

"**Yeah, baby! Burning!" **

"Doing it in the rain?" Oishi looked on, "They could get sick."

Everyone was too preoccupied with Tezuka and Atobe that they didn't notice the sudden look that flashed across Fuji's face. '_Ato … be …_' he fumed silently, '_he's going to pay._'

--

'_Three … and I'm not even half way to Seigaku yet_," Kirihara thought.

"Hi there, pretty –"

"Urusai, teme!" Kirihara growled, causing the person to look at him with in shock as Kirihara's eyes turned a scary shade of red.

"No need to be so touchy, sweetheart," the guy seemed to have pulled himself together pretty quickly and said with a slimy grin on his face, "There's enough of me to go around."

Kirihara gave him the evil eye.

"My name is Wakato Hiroshi, but you can just call me darling," he winked at him, "What's your name, hot stuff?"

Kirihara swallowed his lunch that had threatened to come back up, "Bite me," he said abruptly and stalked off, not caring if he looked feminine or not. Right now Kirihara couldn't give a rat's ass about Sanada's punishment, he just wanted to get to Seigaku, seduce someone and get back. His feet hurt ten times more than it did at the start of the story and the curls of his hair was starting to rebel against the straightening chemicals.

"I do like the girls fiery," Wakato seemed to be ignorant and didn't want to take a hint.

"I told you, bite me."

"I'd love to, love. Right now?" he gave Kirihara another smoulderingly smarmy look that was enough to make his mascara run.

"Look," he turned around abruptly, "I'm tired, I'm aching, I'm hot –"

"That you are."

Twitch.

"- and I have yet succeeded in my mission. I'm getting pretty short tempered right now and if you don't leave me the hell alone, I'm going to make you pay … and it'll only take ten minute."

"Make me pay anytime you want, dear – What the - "

He didn't have time to finish the sentence before Kirihara back flipped him into the trashcan and slammed the lid shut, "Putting away the trash," Kirihara dusted off his hands and smirked.

"Excuse me."

Kirihara could have cried.

"I was just wondering whether you've seen one guy with red hair around here."

Kirihara turned around and came face to face with, possibly the sexiest man he's ever seen. He cleared his throat, "Wakato-kun, ne?"

"Yes. Did you know where he went?"

"I think he left with a bunch of girls, just a few minutes ago."

"Ah, too bad. Forgive me for not introducing myself, Jyousei Shounan no Buchou, Kajimoto Takahisa."

'_Jyousei Shounan? No wonder that guy looked familiar_.' "Kirika Ayako, desu."

"You look familiar, have we met before?"

Kirihara tried to suppress the shudder and just shook his head. He answered in the sweetest, most girly voice he could muster, "No, I don't think so, Kajimoto-kun."

"Really? My mistake then, I should be going now; Hanamura-sensei has a new training menu set. It was nice meeting you, Kirika-san. If you see Wakato-kun anywhere, just tell him that I was looking for him, would you?"

"Hai."

Kirihara sighed in relief. It was hard sometimes, being so good looking.

--

Fuji waited behind the wall as Tezuka and Atobe parted ways. The rest of the Seigaku team were too shocked and traumatize to do anything, but Fuji had decided to confront Atobe about his indecent display of affection towards his Tezuka.

"Atobe," he noticed the boy and walked out of his hiding place.

"Fuji," Atobe seemed a bit shocked at his sudden appearance, but it was soon replaced with the smug look he wore too frequently, "I take it you saw the little show down in the courts, did you?"

"Indeed I did. Did you have fun, Atobe?" Fuji cracked open his eyes a fraction.

"That I did. Did you have fun watching?"

"Somewhat, it would have been even more fun if it was me instead of you."

"Don't blame me, Fuji. You were the one who forced Tezuka to come to me. I thought you might as well have just put a ribbon in him and served him to me on a gold platter."

"Not that I wouldn't like to put a bow on Tezuka in the first place. What makes you think I'd give Tezuka to you."

"Give? No, no, no, wrong use of tense, Fuji. Gave is more likely. Because, unless you missed the whole event in the past few minutes, Tezuka already belongs to Ore-sama."

Fuji's eyebrow twitched.

"And if my memory serves me right, I would have to say thank you, because if you didn't ignore him like you did, Ore-sama would still be one Tezuka-less."

Fuji's eyebrow twitched continuously.

"But, because Ore-sama is such a generous soul, I'll give you something in return, or … someone."

"What makes you think I want anything from you?"

Atobe continued like Fuji hadn't said anything, "Ohtori, perhaps? He's a sweet boy. And quite cute if you ask me."

"… what did you say?"

"Are you losing your hearing already, Fuji, or is Tezuka's monotone orders have finally taken its toll? I said, Ohtori. He's nice."

Fuji would be lying if he said he wasn't the least bit interested, "What about Shishido?"

"Minor obstacle, not something Ore-sama can't take care off," Atobe looked smug.

"I don't know … it would be weird taking someone else's boyfriend."

"You and your do-goodness," Atobe huffed, "Then … what about Jiroh? He seems to have acquired quite an obsession with you."

"I think I'll pass," Fuji sweat-dropped, "Since when have you become a pimp, Atobe?"

"Do not refer to Ore-sama with such a degrading title," Atobe looked at Fuji, scandalized, "Ore-sama cannot be blamed if all the boys of Hyoutei Gakuen are so submissive."

"I'm sure they are …"

Atobe coughed, "I take it you won't want Shishido either then. How about Mukahi? He is quite … dare I say it … bendable."

"No, it'll be like having another Eiji."

"Ore-sama is doing this as a favour, so you could try and be less picky."

"Saa … gomen. Go on, Atobe," by this time, Fuji's anger towards Atobe had pretty much dissipate; he had always been intrigued by the boys of Hyoutei Gakuen and to get the chance at one of them, he couldn't pass it up.

"Oshitari then. I warn you, he can be quite manipulative."

Fuji contemplated the offer, "Maybe … who else is there."

"That would leave Hiyoshi, Taki and Kabaji, but he already belongs to me."

"Don't worry, I don't think I want Kabaji anyway. Saa … what were their names again?"

"Hiyoshi and Taki. Hiyoshi fought against Echizen in the tournament."

Fuji seemed interested in that fact, "That cute one with the sexy moves?"

"You should see what he does in bed," Atobe smirked.

"Who's the other one?"

"He used to be a regular, but Ohtori took his place. Are you sure you don't want Ohtori? He comes highly recommended."

"Quite sure. Maa … in that case, I'll take Hiyoshi-kun."

"Good choice as well, Fuji," Atobe nodded, "Well, it's been fun, however, Ore-sama has to get on his way now. I'll send Hiyoshi over first thing in the morning, and remember, hands of Ore-sama's property."

"Hai, hai."

--

"Achoo!"

"Are you getting a cold, Hiyoshi-kun?" Ohtori looked at him.

"No … if feels like someone's talking about me behind my back …"

* * *

**End Part Two.**

Supposed to be a two-shot, but will now be a three-shot n.n;;

If the characters seem a bit strange, it's because I still haven't gotten the hang of writing PoT stories yet, I will … eventually … maybe.

Review.


	3. Starring: Mizuki, Yuuta and Hiyoshi

**Disclaimer**: As Usual.

**A/N**: I have decided to stop trying to determine how many chapters one story will have because I end up writing twice as much. According to the 'What Katakana are you', I am 'Wind' which indirectly means that I am full of air. Thus, this will no longer be a three-shot, it will be as long as inspiration/my air bag supply, wants it to be.

**What a Drag!  
****Part Three: In which Kirihara meets Mizuki, Yuuta is disliked and Hiyoshi is speechless.**

* * *

"When that brat gets home, I'm going to teach him a thing or two about hiring a prostitute without my knowledge."

"You tell him, ojisan. I would have never imagined that Ryoma-kun would do something like this."

"A Shounen shouldn't be calling up prostitutes! I'm going to demand the phone number from him-"

"That's right!"

"-and keep it for myself," he added under his breath, and wistful look on his face.

--

"Now where did Fuji run off to?" Oishi sighed exasperatedly, "Doesn't he know that running around wet, isn't worth all the risks it brings. You could get a cold, fever, maybe even pneumonia!"

"Relax, Oishi, nyaa. Fujiko knows how to take care of himself."

"Eiji-sempai's right. How much trouble could he possibly cause anyway … never mind, don't answer that."

"Fshuu …" Kaidoh could feel the heat of Inui's gaze on his back. He sweat-dropped. Inui was seriously freaking him out, even more so than that time with Echizen's cursed racket. He couldn't sleep for a week after that, "Fshuu …" he unconsciously moved closer to Momoshiro.

"Mada mada da ne."

They all turned to Echizen's voice and saw him leaning on the desk, his head in his hands and fast asleep.

"Aww, Ochibi's asleep, nya," Eiji cooed, "Kawaii!"

"Echizen doesn't seem half as grumpy when he's asleep, ne?" Momo leaned closer to have a better look at Ryoma's sleeping face.

"I wonder what he's dreaming off?"

"I bet it's about tennis," Momo chirped up.

"Fshuu …" (Translation: He's probably dreaming about his cat … I know I would.)

"I know, I know. It's about his girl friend, nyaa. Puppy love is so cute."

"Yeah," Momo had an intense look of reminiscing on his face, "It's was good being young."

"You're still young, Momo," Oishi gave him a look.

As the regulars of Seigaku debated over the content of Ryoma's dream, the boy in question was too caught up in rescuing his beloved Princess Tezuka from the clutches of his evil stepmother, Queen Atobe. A fleeting smirk passed across his face, "Mada mada da ne," he mumbled.

--

Kirihara stopped in the middle of the street and looked around. He continued the action for a good ten minutes before grabbing his hair in frustration and shouted, "Where the hell is Seigaku!"

People turned their attention towards him, disgust written on their faces at the sight of a girl being so crude.

"You're looking for Seigaku?" a seductive and somewhat amused voice came from behind him.

Kirihara twirled around and came face to face with … his long lost twin brother - a gayer, more fashion deficient long lost twin brother.

"So …" he drawled, "I'm actually headed to Seigaku myself. You can come along if you like."

There was something in the air around him that told Kirihara that this wasn't someone he should be trusting, but he was desperate and would accept help from starving lion if there was one.

"I'm the manager of St. Rudolph, Mizuki Hajime. Good to meet you …"

"Kirika Ayako," Kirihara was starting to get used to referring to himself with that name that he afraid he's accidentally call himself Ayako in front of the most unfortunate people, mainly, his teammates.

"Kirika-san," Mizuki nodded his head, "are you alone?"

So, this is the infamous Mizuki, the one who changed everyone's perspective of the sexual preferences of St. Rudolph's tennis club. "Yes," he couldn't help but stare at Mizuki's blindingly purple shirt, it had little neon pink flower prints on them and made Kirihara's eyes water if he looked at them for too long.

"Why are you going to Seigaku, if I may ask," Mizuki said that with such sweetness that Kirihara's expected a couple of teeth to suddenly drop out.

"I'm going there to seduce Echizen Ryoma," he answered back, '_No I'm not. I'd rather seduce Fuji_!'

"Oh, really?" Mizuki raised an eyebrow.

"Mizuki-san, who are you talking to?"

"Ah, Yuuta-kun," Mizuki snickered, "meet Kirika-san. She's going to Seigaku to seduce Echizen Ryoma."

"Echizen?" Yuuta raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

Kirihara glared at him, "Who are you?"

"This is Fuji Yuuta," Mizuki intercepted, his finger twirling a few strands of his hair. His actions made Kirihara nostalgic about his own head of curls.

"Fuji? Fuji Syuusuke's little brother?"

Yuuta's eyebrow twitched.

"Yes, but don't refer to me like that. It's Yuuta."

"Fine, fine. There's no need to bite my head off," Kirihara raised his hands up in defence.

"Perhaps we should be on our way, it looks like a storm's coming."

Indeed, black clouds seem to be coming their way from all directions. Maybe this time the goddess of Yaoi wanted to see all the boys in tight, wet tee shirts?

--

"Hiyoshi," Atobe sauntered into the Hyoutei changing room.

"What?"

"Pack your bags. Ore-sama has just traded you off to Fuji Syuusuke."

"…"

"What are you waiting for, an invitation? That wasn't a request."

"…"

"Kabaji, make him pack his bags."

"Usu," Kabaji popped up out of nowhere suddenly.

"And don't forget to bring clean underwear, nothing says vagabond more than a pair of dirty undergarments."

"Usu."

"…"

--

"I can't wait for tomorrow," Fuji thought fondly, "I've always wanted to try some new Hyoutei blood."

"Fuji!"

Oishi smothered him the moment he got into the room, "Where have you been? I've been worried sick. What if you fell down the stairs? Tezuka hasn't come back since his rendezvous with Atobe, and everyone's been a nervous wreck."

"Err, Oishi … no, we haven't, nya."

"That's right, Oishi-sempai. You're the one who's been worried."

There was a loud boom before the electricity in the building went out.

"Unyaa!" Eiji exclaimed and clamped onto Oishi's arm, "hold me, Oishi. I'm scared."

Kaidoh moved closer towards the group, "Fshuu …" (Translation: Oh no, it's the cursed racket incident all over again) He almost cried.

"And just when we thought things couldn't get wor -"

Kawamura rushed over and clamped a hand over Momo's mouth, stopping whatever he had to say, "Don't say that, Momo. When you say that, for sure something is going to happen. Bad luck knows what you're thinking."

There, they sat, the boys of Seishun Gakuen Junior High tennis club, clutching onto each other for comfort and safety in the darkness of the room. Outside, the rain began picking up.

* * *

**End Part Three.**

I promise that part four won't take as long.


	4. Starring: Mizuki, Yuuta, Fuji and Atobe

**Disclaimer**: As usual.

**What a Drag! **

_Part Four: In which Atobe buys chocolate, Kirihara does gay and Mizuki is ignored._

- - - - -

Kirihara was not one happy camper, at all. Not only was he stuck in the current predicament, in a very tight skirt no less, he was now being accompanied to a place he didn't even want to go to with someone who kept nattering on about Fuji Syuusuke.

"--after all, he is my one true rival," Mizuki ended with an amused chuckle

Kirihara couldn't help but notice the sympathetic look Fuji's little brother would cast at him once and a while. It was as if he knew just how much Kirihara was suffering, the brat.

Kirihara returned his look with an intense glare. The boy looked momentarily shocked, but when he regained composure, he puffed out his chest indignantly and snapped his attention away from Kirihara.

His momentary glee was promptly chased away when Mizuki chuckled again at something he had said, Kirihara did not know, nor cared what it was. He shouldn't have agreed to this in the first place. What was he thinking? The confrontation with the duck guy should have been an indication.

St. Rudolph breeds _weird _people.

"Mizuki-san?"

"Yes, Yuuta-kun," Mizuki snickered.

Was there something really funny going on in that head of his that makes him sound so amused all the time? Kirihara had the sudden mental image of little purple men in tight purple Speedos and couldn't hold back a shudder.

"Isn't that Hyotei's Atobe?" he saw Fuji's little brother pointing to a tall, light-haired boy coming out of one of the chocolate shops across the street. "Funny, I never imagined him to be one with a sweet tooth," he motioned the towering form of Kabaji walking out right after him, carrying what seemed to be a gigantic heart-shaped chocolate bon-bon.

Kirihara's mind was suddenly transported back to the Seigaku-Hyoutei match, watching the scene with Atobe raising Tezuka's hand at the end and smirked. So, that look Fuji shot them _did _mean something. Or maybe one girl just became the luckiest person on the face of the earth.

…Nah.

This was _Atobe Keigo _he was talking about, and he was the captain of _Hyotei Gakuen_; if Shishido and Ootori were any indication…

It was definitely Tezuka. Even Kirihara couldn't deny that the stoic captain was hot. Yukimura-buchou was also hot, but in a different, more effeminate way. Kirihara was also positive that after this he could spend his time kicking back, relax with a six-pack or two, chain-smoke and talk in the more sailorific language he could muster in an attempt to de-effeminate himself as much as he possibly could. He wasn't gay. He wasn't interested in guys…Atobe-san was a very attractive man though.

"Shall we go over and greet him?" Mizuki had his fingers up to his chin, tapping it lightly in contemplation.

_Right_…as if Kirihara would willingly walk up to the King of Hyotei Gakuen with these bunch of weirdoes.

His thoughts were abruptly halted when he felt a tug on his arm and found himself being dragged over in the direction of Atobe by Mizuki. All he could think of at the moment was that he'd developed a sudden, intense fear of the colour purple.

Mizuki chuckled suddenly, stopping not a few feet behind a long black limo, "Atobe Keigo of Hyotei Gakuen. A pleasure it is."

Atobe immediately turned around and cast a look over the three people standing near his car, "Kabaji, who are these pheasants that dare use Ore-sama's name in the presence of witnesses?"

"Usu."

"Chase them away; Ore-sama has a very important appointment to keep."

"Usu."

Kabaji lumbered over the three people. Yuuta and Kirihara both shrunk back as he came closer, Mizuki, on the other hand, could be labeled the epitome of calmness if it wasn't for the sweat pouring down his face and the twitch that had developed under his left eye.

Kabaji seemed to stall for a moment when his beady eyes came across Kirihara. His parents had taught him to never lay a hand on a girl. He looked torn between Atobe and Kirihara for a second, until the narcissistic boy noticed his hesitance.

"What is it Kabaji?"

Kabaji pointed to Kirihara, who didn't seem to know what to do or say, and could only stand there, dumbfounded.

Atobe raised an eyebrow. "Girl. Grace Ore-sama with your name."

"Err…Kirika…Ayako…" he muttered slowly and unsurely, eyes darting to the towering Kabaji a few times.

"Hn. And what is a girl like you doing with…vagrants like these?"

Kirihara snorted inwardly at the look on Mizuki and Yuuta's face.

Clearing his throat, he spoke in the silkiest and seductive way he could. "These gentlemen were kind enough to accompany me to Seishun Gakuen."

That comment seemed to perk up Atobe's interest. "Is that so? What is it that a girl like you would do with those bunch of riff-rafts from Seigaku."

Kirihara couldn't help but admit that Atobe's mightier than thou attitude was indeed a big turn-on. Okay, so perhaps he wasn't all that _'not gay' _as he had earlier expected; how can you not be when you have Yukimura Seiichi for a captain? He was sure the others would agree whole-heartedly.

"I'm going there to have sex with Fuji Syuusuke," mouth blurted out before his mind could even comprehend what those words meant. Okay, so maybe he had been harbouring certain…feelings for the _tensai_…could anyone blame him? Besides, he'd dug himself in this bottomless pit of self degradation deep enough that it seemed almost impossible to get out. So, might as well get to with a possibility of a high amount of pleasure. After all, what was pain, utter humiliation and disgrace anyway? Niou-sempai was a man-whore, and it doesn't bother him, at least…not yet…Yagyuu-sempai's still hadn't gotten wind of his wicked ways.

Atobe seemed genuinely at a loss of what to say, but somehow, just managed out an almost inaudible; "Ah."

There was silence. Kirihara didn't know what to add to that, Mizuki seemed to be muttering quietly under his breath while the ever suffering Yuuta looked on.

"This reminds me, Kabaji. When we get back, make sure that Hiyoshi has already finished his packing and is ready to go. We don't want the brats to think that Ore-sama isn't a man of his word, ahn?"

"Usu."

Turning to leave, Atobe cast one last long, bemused glance at the straight haired girl and wondering where the heck had he seen her from, he entered his limo; Kabaji's lumbering form entering after him and closing the door with a soft click before the engine revved and pulled away from the sidewalk, leaving Kirihara exasperated, standing to the side and wondering what else would happen to him today, Mizuki nattering to himself (but that was a usual occurrence and neither of his two companions paid any attention to it) and Yuuta torn between being insulted by Atobe's words, or attempting to find a deep, deep hole somewhere in the middle of the Sahara desert where he could hide. Why hadn't he taken up tarot card reading with his sister? It would have been a much safer, and saner activity to be exercised.

Suddenly he heard Mizuki chuckle through the tick that had started beneath his left eye and gave a long, suffering sigh. He wished his aniki would suddenly pop up to save him from these weird people of Japan.

"Yuuta," the sudden, sickly sweet voice called out and he turned around in time to look into the smiling face of his brother.

"Gyaah!" he gave a shout, leaped away from the body and without another look back, ran for the hills.

He missed sanity.

"Ano..." the smile dropped from Fuji's face as he stared at his brother's rapidly disappearing form. "Yuuta?"

" Fuji Syuusuke!" Both Mizuki and Kirihara yelped simultaneously, staring agape at the prodigy.

Fuji turned around, his eyes cracked open a fraction as he looked at the two people before him. Sparing the approaching Mizuki flickering glance, his gaze settled on the skimpy-dressed girl behind him.

" Fuji Syuusuke. What a pleasu--"

"You look very pretty, Kirihara. Is that a new look?" walking past the St. Rudolph manager without an acknowledgement, Fuji came to stand in front of a shocked Kirihara, who could only stare at him dumbfounded.

"Err..." Kirihara stuttered out, gaze shooting between Fuji and Mizuki hoping that the latter hadn't heard what Fuji said. And it seemed he didn't, when the tick reappeared and with an inaudible mutter, Mizuki stomped off in the direction Yuuta had disappeared. Kirihara dropped his head and let out an ever suffering sigh. "You see, it's like this..."

- - - - -

**End Part Four.**


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